Why does my adopted teenage son want to shower with his younger brother?

my son is 14, we adopted him last year. my other son is 5. when it's bath time, my older one likes to help out with him, and sometimes he asks if they can just shower together, it would save time. i don't let him. not that i don't trust him, but he's been through every possible kind of abuse there is in his young life, and i don't want him to take advantage of his younger brother in any way, shape, or form. so far, i have never let the 2 of them be together out of my sight. but why would he want to shower with him, is it truly just to save time?Why does my adopted teenage son want to shower with his younger brother?
Keep them apart. You are right to be concerned. You shouldn't trust him. It's not that he's a bad person, or intends harm, he's just too young and probably too abused to really make correct decisions regarding your 5 year old. He's at the right age where his hormones are taking over. That coupled with curiosity about sex can make for a bad situation for your young son. Continue to keep you eye on him, love him, and watch for signs of abuse from you your younger son. I admire you for adopting an older child! Good for you! I wish there were more women like you.





Good luck!Why does my adopted teenage son want to shower with his younger brother?
I think I'd be kind of leary too. Sounds strange. I couldnt imagine a 14 yr old boy (especially going through puberty and changes) actually WANTING to take a shower with anyone else. defianatly strange. I think I'd talk to a counselor about it. There might be more than you realize. or it could be nothing at all, and you could erase your fears. :) good luck with all of that.
well he could just want to help out and save time but because you mentioned the abuse it seems like he may have some issues. people who have gone through abuse will try to do what happened to them to other people so i would recomend going to therapy for your son for the abuse he's gone through and maybe just talk to him about it, not directly but just say you know this is wrong nobody should do it to him and he shouldnt do it to anybody else. kudos on keeping an eye on this though becuase most parents in these types of situations go about it differently and the outcome isnt good.
I don't think you should be untrusting of your new son, but in this case, do not, do not, ever leave him alone with your younger son. He probably has a past, likely with scars of sexual abuse. As one who has worked with sex offenders, I'll telling you to avoid that possiblity at all costs.
OMG Are you serious? If this is a serious question you need to get help for that boy! {I'm sorry for the doubt it's just that people play pranks on here a lot} And quit calling him your adopted son. I was adopted and it hurt when people called me ';the adopted one';. But DO NOT let him shower with your son!!!!! Do not trust him! 14 year old boys do NOT like to shower with little boys. You are right to question him. Get him some help before something REALLY bad happens!
i don't know maybe he raised like that before he was adopted :- }
sounds like you need to talk to him and maybe since he has been through a ruff time a therapist as well. I am not saying that to be mean but it will be someone he can talk to with out being in trouble or judged and they can read between the lines as well.
sorry but the dude is a homo
yeah im fourteen and if i had a younger brother i would not shower with him, he may be gay.
um... not to be mean but i dont know him and maby he is gay. i could be wrong.
Yeah I would get the 14 y.o. in consoling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmmm, it could be anything. He could be telling the truth about saving time, or maybe he is trying to abuse your child.I don't know why he would want to do that he is 14 years old. Hmmmm i don't want to say he is gay because i don't know him... I think you should see a councelor or someone
First of all, you said, '; ... not that I don't trust him ...'; but then you list all the reasons why you don't trust him. Not that it matters much, but you should be honest with yourself about this.





Anyway, my 7-year old son likes to take a bath with his 2.5 year old sister. We don't normally allow them to, but sometimes it does save time and we'll let them hop in there real quick.





In their case, they are blood-related, and in all honesty, they just like having someone to play with in the bathtub (splashing, laughing, boats, etc.).





But the ages you're talking about, I don't think are appropriate. The history you describe doesn't lend itself to that kind of trust. Also, at 14, he's going through changes and hormones that your 5 year old is not.





This should definitely be alone-time for him.
think about it, he has been through a lot in his life time, but it still doesn't make it right to want to do something like that with a younger sibling unless they are both three or four. i don't think it is to save time, but heck what do i know? maybe that is his true intentions but it is a good idea not to let him shower with your younger son.
i don't know... but its a good idea that ur not letting him do it... it could easily lead to other things
Was he from a poor family or a poor country? If so, he probably showered together to save time and water. Also, if he was at an orphanage with lots of people, they may've showered all together. You need to learn to trust your son, otherwise it will not make for a good relationship. Good Luck!
Well, KUDOS to you for NOT letting them shower together!! 15 is a very rough age...especially when you have been abused. He may be confused and want to be a 'good' role model and do what he knows, by what was done to him. I know that it's confusing, but when he was being abused he thought that, that was the proper thing to do to someone.


I think you know the answer to your question about it truly just to save time, and you want validation...NO it is not just to save time. I hope this young man is in counseling to get him turned around and believe that this is wrong. I commend you for taking on such a challenge!!!


Just follow your 'gut' instinct and do not let them be alone out of your site for ANY amount of time, or for ANY reason. I hope for your 5 year olds sake you are around or your older son is not alone with your 5 year old when he helps in the shower. I know that you want to trust him, but with his background you just can't in this instance. Nothing against him, it is just all he knows!





Good Luck!





May Angels Walk Beside You


Momma P
It could be just to save time, but you are being very resonable by being careful. It doesn't matter whether it's for saving time are not. You are doing the right thing. If you let them, and he did do something, you would feel horrible for a long time and you would have, in a sense, allowed your adopted son to bring all kinds of trouble on himself. Keep doing what you're doing.
I don't know, Mom. Chances are, if you are feeling something ';not right'; about it, you could very well be right. Always always ALWAYS go with your gut to protect your kids.
maybe cuz like all the stuff that he went through in his life he never had a chance to bond witha sibling and idk nevermind thats wierd idk. sit down with him alone and ask him. why. if he has a gf. if not. then if he's gay
Being he wants to shower with your 5 year-old it sounds like he is trying to give your child a bad expirence like he had to go threw PLEASE PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN!!!
i don't think it's just to save time....14 year olds don't say that type of thing as fas as i know. well idk i mean if i were you i would try to find out a little more about your adopted sons history....it might help you pin point the reason he wants to shower with his little brother. or you could let them and then ask your younger son if anything happened but that could be risky obviously.


good luck, good luck, good luck!
ha has genetic gay .